New and Improved

“When are you leaving?” “How many days left?” “When is your last day?” These are the questions I am constantly getting asked, and with each kid it is getting harder to answer. Our trip is winding down and it is so hard to wrap my mind around the idea.

On Tuesday, I went on another home visit to the home of Godfrey. Godfrey is the chef who has worked at LOAMO for ten years and he has one (out of five) child at LOAMO – his son, Brian, who is in Kindergarten. I was nervous and really didn’t know what to expect going into this visit. We went on a drive that was easily thirty minutes, only to find out that Godfrey rides his bike to school everyday to drop Brian off at the bus stop (he is not allowed on the bus). This is not just any bike ride; they live on top of a mountain! Dirt roads, narrow paths, lots of people, and potholes that are feet deep. Godfrey bikes to and from school everyday, so he is in some seriously good shape! They live in the most beautiful area I have ever seen, so many green plants and views you couldn’t even dream of. They own a pretty good amount of property, and the small community consists of five mud and stick shacks that are all very nice inside. The rest of his family welcomed us when we got out of the car. His two oldest daughters (nineteen & eighteen) do not work because they don’t have the money to educate themselves enough to be qualified for a job. His other son, who is fourteen, goes to a government school. They have another daughter, Veronica, who is three and a half and is old enough for baby class at LOAMO, but they don’t have the money for her to attend. They are a beautiful family that is full of love for each other and it was very heart warming to see.

Tuesday was also a great day in the classroom. I had put together some math worksheets for my students, which they enjoyed very much. I had so much fun teaching science with Ms. G, especially when we taught the six steps to a scientific investigation. We investigated our heart rates and the kids had a great time. It is an amazing feeling to have known you brought so much love and joy into these people’s lives. Standing up in front of the classroom is no longer scary or nerve racking. I learned it is ok to mess up or fail a couple times and being here with CGA has taught me how to get back up and do it right the next time. Having these experiences and struggles is what makes me a stronger person inside and out, and everyday I feel myself improving and growing.

This trip has taught me something that some people will never learn in a lifetime: how to self-reflect and make personal changes in order to be better than I was the day before. Each day, I had a different struggle, but on Wednesday I finally understood and figured out who I want to be and how I am going to get there. I started two of the best conversations I have ever had with two people who gave me a slap in the face of reality, which I desperately needed. These conversations helped me to realize why the chaperones are so hard on me: they only want the best for me and to see me succeed, and it took me this long to see it. I am so thankful for LMH, Ms. G, Krissy and Keelin, because they taught me selflessness.

Today was Thursday: exam day. It gave me time to make pictures, write notes for the people and kids that helped me through this incredible journey, the people that are going to be the hardest ones to which I say goodbye. During lunch time the staff prepared the most amazing lunch. Honestly, I cannot even call it a lunch; it was a feast! Everything was so delicious, and I am so thankful that the LOAMO staff has so much love for us. They made some speeches that made me tear up, talking about how the things that we have done and the lessons that we have taught have made an impact that is too strong to explain. I have never seen anybody so thankful for anything until today. I am sitting in the classroom watching them test and I miss them already. Their dark eyes, curious minds, and crazy hair will always be a part of me. Those feelings and emotions that I had leaving Cambodia are starting to come back, so I talked to God. I asked him for some strength, and asked him to protect these beautiful people when my eyes finally leave them for good.

We went to the market today, as one big group of Mzungus (white people in Swahili), we bought an enormous amount of fruit and other foods for tomorrow’s dance. I am so excited! Of course the one day I decide to wear flip-flops, the strap breaks, and I am walking around the market with no right shoe for a little while. Thank God for Loth, as he took my shoe and returned it five minutes later, sewed and looking good as new!

For the people who are reading my blog, I thank you for your help, support, love, and generosity that helped me get here so I could learn these lessons and make these connections, because returning home I will be a new and improved person.